It’s Spring time once again and thoughts of love is in the minds of the young. Someone should speak up and warn them of what these thoughts will lead to. Please show this to all those that are considering matrimony in the near future!
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Deep in a jungle where the sun never shines and danger lurks with every step. It is damp and the smell of dead things every where. Your skin is crawling with insects and you dare not scratch or it will get worse. No one could imagine the pain and how much you are suffering. You were warned, but you let yourself be talked into this anyway.
You must have left what brains you had, in a dark place at home. You were told about political parties, but you insisted they knew everything and they could be trusted. But now you know that you can’t count on anything when politics are involved. Prison is a bad place to spend a life time. But it’s not as bad as being in a jungle, like you are right now. I’ll bet you wishing you were dead! Death comes easy, Compared to what you are planning for the future. It is said that people learn by their mistakes. So far, you haven’t learned anything.
There goes that damn alarm clock again, it’s time to get up and go to work. The job sucks more with each passing day, you keep telling your self that you are going to quit that job and find another with better pay and a future in it for you. You have been saying that for the past fifteen years. We know you are scared of trying anything new, and you think you are a failure.
Now you think you are in-love and wanting to marry, but you are deep in debt. You have been fighting to keep your head above water for a long time. You will never get a promotion where you are working. The good jobs go to the family and good friends of those that own the company. You have to do a lot of sucking up to the boss to get him to even notice you.
Your fiancée has a good job and a home and has accomplished many things already. What makes you think she will accept your burdens ? What you have to give can be found anywhere during the week and all day long on Sunday.
Talk to anyone that has a longtime union with a spouse. Most men will tell you there are a couple of thousand things you need to know before you tie the knot, Some say a couple of thousand only touches the surface of things you need to know. Consider this. Only one in a million have a happy successful union. You and I, are two of the people in our group of a million. And I am sorry, but I am that lucky one, I have to say that or die.
The woman always has back-up plans, she is prepared for anything. The Cat or the Dog has it made, all they need to do is, brush up against her legs or set on her lap and purr. Lets see if you will or can do that!. It is cheaper to feed a pet than it is to feed a man.
To most women, Men are disposable and they lose their trade-in value really fast. Women have to be careful in making a selection as: there is only one good man to every thousand deadbeats. If you want a second rate woman, rent one, they are cheaper but just as dangerous. Good advice is hard to recognize and you have to decide for yourself which is best for you. I will attempt to list a few thing you should or should not do in making plans to live with a woman. It is hard to teach a man anything, as he has to read or be told and shown these things a number of times, before he even starts to comprehend. If you are a man and are dead set on getting married, consider this:
Regardless of what you hear, NO MAN, wants a honest women, She will tell the police and the IRS, everything. And they do not offer a reward!
1. While courting your fiancée, try to keep your mouth closed as much as possible, The less she knows about you the better off you are.
2. Do not introduce her to your best friends, maybe a few that you don’t care that much about and keep it simple. Put off introducing her to your family as long as possible and try not to speak of them.
3. What ever you say, chose your words carefully. What you do not say, is more of an interest than what you do say. Remember she may be smarter than you are so keep your guard up. If you are right handed and are about to sign a document, do it with your left hand and backwards.
4. Try not to involve her in any part of your current life as you live it on this day. Share only information that can not be of danger to you. If you sleep with her, do not spend the entire night at her home or apartment. Leave as soon as possible! Believe me, it is far cheaper to have breakfast at a café of your choice. Food is one thing that you can discuss freely and openly, anytime.
5. Leave the wedding arrangements for her and her mother to make, bite your tongue , shrug your shoulders, go along with what every they want. Remember the wedding is for her and her mother, not you! Be sure to Voice your opinion when it comes to the date of the wedding to take place, They will be expecting something from you.
6. Never tell the women how much money you earn or have in a bank! And be sure you always have a checking account that no one else knows about.
7. If you go on a Honey Moon, make it as short as possible. One or two days should do it. It would be best if your job kept you away most of the week, Do not wake your wife in the mornings. Dress and leave the house as quickly and as quietly as you can and do not slam the door as you leave. Be sure to call your wife at mid morning and tell her you love her! Ask what she plans to do on that day? Do not forget to say those (three little words) I LOVE YOU!
~~~~~~~~
Deep in a jungle where the sun never shines and danger lurks with every step. It is damp and the smell of dead things every where. Your skin is crawling with insects and you dare not scratch or it will get worse. No one could imagine the pain and how much you are suffering. You were warned, but you let yourself be talked into this anyway.
You must have left what brains you had, in a dark place at home. You were told about political parties, but you insisted they knew everything and they could be trusted. But now you know that you can’t count on anything when politics are involved. Prison is a bad place to spend a life time. But it’s not as bad as being in a jungle, like you are right now. I’ll bet you wishing you were dead! Death comes easy, Compared to what you are planning for the future. It is said that people learn by their mistakes. So far, you haven’t learned anything.
There goes that damn alarm clock again, it’s time to get up and go to work. The job sucks more with each passing day, you keep telling your self that you are going to quit that job and find another with better pay and a future in it for you. You have been saying that for the past fifteen years. We know you are scared of trying anything new, and you think you are a failure.
Now you think you are in-love and wanting to marry, but you are deep in debt. You have been fighting to keep your head above water for a long time. You will never get a promotion where you are working. The good jobs go to the family and good friends of those that own the company. You have to do a lot of sucking up to the boss to get him to even notice you.
Your fiancée has a good job and a home and has accomplished many things already. What makes you think she will accept your burdens ? What you have to give can be found anywhere during the week and all day long on Sunday.
Talk to anyone that has a longtime union with a spouse. Most men will tell you there are a couple of thousand things you need to know before you tie the knot, Some say a couple of thousand only touches the surface of things you need to know. Consider this. Only one in a million have a happy successful union. You and I, are two of the people in our group of a million. And I am sorry, but I am that lucky one, I have to say that or die.
The woman always has back-up plans, she is prepared for anything. The Cat or the Dog has it made, all they need to do is, brush up against her legs or set on her lap and purr. Lets see if you will or can do that!. It is cheaper to feed a pet than it is to feed a man.
To most women, Men are disposable and they lose their trade-in value really fast. Women have to be careful in making a selection as: there is only one good man to every thousand deadbeats. If you want a second rate woman, rent one, they are cheaper but just as dangerous. Good advice is hard to recognize and you have to decide for yourself which is best for you. I will attempt to list a few thing you should or should not do in making plans to live with a woman. It is hard to teach a man anything, as he has to read or be told and shown these things a number of times, before he even starts to comprehend. If you are a man and are dead set on getting married, consider this:
Regardless of what you hear, NO MAN, wants a honest women, She will tell the police and the IRS, everything. And they do not offer a reward!
1. While courting your fiancée, try to keep your mouth closed as much as possible, The less she knows about you the better off you are.
2. Do not introduce her to your best friends, maybe a few that you don’t care that much about and keep it simple. Put off introducing her to your family as long as possible and try not to speak of them.
3. What ever you say, chose your words carefully. What you do not say, is more of an interest than what you do say. Remember she may be smarter than you are so keep your guard up. If you are right handed and are about to sign a document, do it with your left hand and backwards.
4. Try not to involve her in any part of your current life as you live it on this day. Share only information that can not be of danger to you. If you sleep with her, do not spend the entire night at her home or apartment. Leave as soon as possible! Believe me, it is far cheaper to have breakfast at a café of your choice. Food is one thing that you can discuss freely and openly, anytime.
5. Leave the wedding arrangements for her and her mother to make, bite your tongue , shrug your shoulders, go along with what every they want. Remember the wedding is for her and her mother, not you! Be sure to Voice your opinion when it comes to the date of the wedding to take place, They will be expecting something from you.
6. Never tell the women how much money you earn or have in a bank! And be sure you always have a checking account that no one else knows about.
7. If you go on a Honey Moon, make it as short as possible. One or two days should do it. It would be best if your job kept you away most of the week, Do not wake your wife in the mornings. Dress and leave the house as quickly and as quietly as you can and do not slam the door as you leave. Be sure to call your wife at mid morning and tell her you love her! Ask what she plans to do on that day? Do not forget to say those (three little words) I LOVE YOU!
8. Plan ahead for any emergency, Tell her that you belong to a group called “The Brother’s” and that they meet twice a month. Do not tell her which days of the week that they meet. Say you belong to the group because of the life Insurance they provide! Ask her to remind you to make her the beneficiary of the policy.
9. If you need sex more than on a week-end, find it else where. Twice a week or more, causes women to have head-aches. Once the headaches start, they never stop! If your wife is still working, never visit or call her at work. Get a message center in your home and leave messages for each other there! If you have a call center, Remember it will record the date and time, so be extremely careful. Place your trust in God, not your wife. If you need to talk something over with someone, talk to your bar tender.
10. If you need an excuse, tell your wife you were robbed at gun point and were told not to report it to the police, or they will come and hurt her, and shoot you! If she won’t believe you, lay down at her feet and cry. Be sure you are not close enough for her so she can smell your breath .
11. “Happiness” is a word in the dictionary that follows Happily, And the dictionary has a lot of words that are deceiving. If you are going to lie, repeat it over and over to yourself, until you get it right. Remember, telling a lie will get you into trouble every time.
12. If there is anything about your women that you don’t like, never say it to her. Remember those words (for better or worse) richer or poorer( until death do you part) Need I say more? There is no such thing as common property, it is either all hers and maybe part yours.
13. The woman takes from the man and spends it on the woman. Man is only allowed to say one word and that is: "Yes Dear"! And act afraid when you say it!
14. And do not interrupt her when she is talking! Remember, it is cold down there in the dungeon and blankets are not furnished. And don’t just set around, get up and move around and get the air to circulate.
15. Do not kill the rats, you will need someone to talk with and you can lie to them!
16. One is usually put in the dungeon, for only a week at a time, but it can be for longer! Every time you open your mouth, another week could be added. And no visitors will be allowed. Water and food, maybe,….. wait and see! ….If the dungeon starts to flood, pray! That whitch was once called a Dog House, is now known as a Dungeon.
17. If you get yourself shot, you won’t have to worry about a divorce. Chances are that she knows how to handle a gun and you will be dead on contact with the bullet. And try not to bleed on the rug.
18. It would be best if you had children, but there are no guarantees that comes with them. The little darlings hear everything you say and they remember it word for word. They love to talk and will tell all this stuff to anyone that will listen. There is no on or off switch and they are still dangerous when asleep. You can not hide from them as they will find you no matter where you are!
19. Mother in-laws have big ears and hear everything from miles away, They have spies watching you and these spies report everything to the mother. Some are overly anxious to make a report and often add things to them. It’s like they were being paid for each word in the report.
20. Never touch or talk to a young lady when you or they are alone, You actions could land you in a confinement place for a long time. Let the lady approach you first and keep a distance between both of you. And be sure you have a witness close by to verify what goes on. It is best to stay home and hidden.
21. There is always the option of joining the Army, Navy or Foreign Legion. It would be nice if you could go from being a young child to a man of sixty five years of age. You would miss a lot, but think how safe you would be!
22. If and when you are handed your birth certificate, go and pick out a burial plan and select a burial plot at the same time. The Boy Scout’s , have a saying, “Be prepared at all times”.
I wonder why some Smart fellow, wasn’t around to tell me this stuff, when I was a young man?
By; Ben R.
May 5, 2010
9. If you need sex more than on a week-end, find it else where. Twice a week or more, causes women to have head-aches. Once the headaches start, they never stop! If your wife is still working, never visit or call her at work. Get a message center in your home and leave messages for each other there! If you have a call center, Remember it will record the date and time, so be extremely careful. Place your trust in God, not your wife. If you need to talk something over with someone, talk to your bar tender.
10. If you need an excuse, tell your wife you were robbed at gun point and were told not to report it to the police, or they will come and hurt her, and shoot you! If she won’t believe you, lay down at her feet and cry. Be sure you are not close enough for her so she can smell your breath .
11. “Happiness” is a word in the dictionary that follows Happily, And the dictionary has a lot of words that are deceiving. If you are going to lie, repeat it over and over to yourself, until you get it right. Remember, telling a lie will get you into trouble every time.
12. If there is anything about your women that you don’t like, never say it to her. Remember those words (for better or worse) richer or poorer( until death do you part) Need I say more? There is no such thing as common property, it is either all hers and maybe part yours.
13. The woman takes from the man and spends it on the woman. Man is only allowed to say one word and that is: "Yes Dear"! And act afraid when you say it!
14. And do not interrupt her when she is talking! Remember, it is cold down there in the dungeon and blankets are not furnished. And don’t just set around, get up and move around and get the air to circulate.
15. Do not kill the rats, you will need someone to talk with and you can lie to them!
16. One is usually put in the dungeon, for only a week at a time, but it can be for longer! Every time you open your mouth, another week could be added. And no visitors will be allowed. Water and food, maybe,….. wait and see! ….If the dungeon starts to flood, pray! That whitch was once called a Dog House, is now known as a Dungeon.
17. If you get yourself shot, you won’t have to worry about a divorce. Chances are that she knows how to handle a gun and you will be dead on contact with the bullet. And try not to bleed on the rug.
18. It would be best if you had children, but there are no guarantees that comes with them. The little darlings hear everything you say and they remember it word for word. They love to talk and will tell all this stuff to anyone that will listen. There is no on or off switch and they are still dangerous when asleep. You can not hide from them as they will find you no matter where you are!
19. Mother in-laws have big ears and hear everything from miles away, They have spies watching you and these spies report everything to the mother. Some are overly anxious to make a report and often add things to them. It’s like they were being paid for each word in the report.
20. Never touch or talk to a young lady when you or they are alone, You actions could land you in a confinement place for a long time. Let the lady approach you first and keep a distance between both of you. And be sure you have a witness close by to verify what goes on. It is best to stay home and hidden.
21. There is always the option of joining the Army, Navy or Foreign Legion. It would be nice if you could go from being a young child to a man of sixty five years of age. You would miss a lot, but think how safe you would be!
22. If and when you are handed your birth certificate, go and pick out a burial plan and select a burial plot at the same time. The Boy Scout’s , have a saying, “Be prepared at all times”.
I wonder why some Smart fellow, wasn’t around to tell me this stuff, when I was a young man?
By; Ben R.
May 5, 2010
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