I am not sure if I dream or have nightmares or maybe day dreams, Things I come up with could be true or not true. Confusion is, not knowing right from wrong and anyone with this, should not be allowed to vote in an election.
So let us say this story might be questionable and I am close to the border line of being close to insanity. Let us hope that someone or something will protect me for a while longer. As it has been said, “Hell has no fury like a woman scorned”.
There are games we play and games we play without knowing the rules. We all select routines and follow them pretty much. Like Peggy always cooks a good breakfast for the boys and myself on Sunday mornings and that is around eight thirty or nine every Sunday. This past Sunday ( acutely today, the 18th. Day of July, 2010) she never came out of her room until ten thirty a.m. I checked on her a few times, but that didn’t cause her to hurry any.
Being a jokester, I thought I would make a sign and post in outside on the porch. And some how she would see it. The sign was ready and I opened the door so I could post it on the railing of the front deck. There stood a woman, a traveler or a bum, homeless or a lost soul, that appeared to need some help. I ask: what can I do for you. and she replied, I am here for that job, you have listed on that sign. Then I asked, how did you know I was looking for someone? She said; I am here am I not?
I thought, what the hell, give the lady a interview. I ask her in and gave her a cup of coffee and she made an awful face when she tasted it, That not coffee she said and sat the cup down. You think you can do better, I asked?
I started to ask her a number of questions and told her that I needed someone that could do other things besides cook. She replied yes. Can you do laundry and Ironing? Make beds, vacuum and dusting. Dishes by hand, water the lawn and cut the grass? Remove snow from the sidewalks and drive way. Clean the basement and the shed. Feed the animals. And protect them from the bears? She said only the small brown ones.
So let us say this story might be questionable and I am close to the border line of being close to insanity. Let us hope that someone or something will protect me for a while longer. As it has been said, “Hell has no fury like a woman scorned”.
There are games we play and games we play without knowing the rules. We all select routines and follow them pretty much. Like Peggy always cooks a good breakfast for the boys and myself on Sunday mornings and that is around eight thirty or nine every Sunday. This past Sunday ( acutely today, the 18th. Day of July, 2010) she never came out of her room until ten thirty a.m. I checked on her a few times, but that didn’t cause her to hurry any.
Being a jokester, I thought I would make a sign and post in outside on the porch. And some how she would see it. The sign was ready and I opened the door so I could post it on the railing of the front deck. There stood a woman, a traveler or a bum, homeless or a lost soul, that appeared to need some help. I ask: what can I do for you. and she replied, I am here for that job, you have listed on that sign. Then I asked, how did you know I was looking for someone? She said; I am here am I not?
I thought, what the hell, give the lady a interview. I ask her in and gave her a cup of coffee and she made an awful face when she tasted it, That not coffee she said and sat the cup down. You think you can do better, I asked?
I started to ask her a number of questions and told her that I needed someone that could do other things besides cook. She replied yes. Can you do laundry and Ironing? Make beds, vacuum and dusting. Dishes by hand, water the lawn and cut the grass? Remove snow from the sidewalks and drive way. Clean the basement and the shed. Feed the animals. And protect them from the bears? She said only the small brown ones.
Can you give a person first aid or drive them to the emergency room? She said; I can’t stand the sight of blood, or the smell of gas from old men. I asked if she had a place to stay and she said; I can stay in your shade. I told her there was no heat in there, I have a bear skin, she said. I said there is no light in there and she replies , I’ll use a flesh light or a candle, There is no bath room, she said I go behind the shed.
I asked: how is your health? I have never been to see a doctor, was her answer and I haven’t had any teeth for the past sixty five years. Have you had a rabies shot, and she said no. I have never had a needle stuck in me.
Then I said: I notice that you are not wearing shoes, she says, shoes hurt my feet! Then I ask, do you have any references? She says for what? Where was your last job and how long did you work there.
"Work”! I have never worked a day in my life, I ask why are you here applying for the cooks job? She said I am not here for the cooks job, I am here for the Sexy French maid’s job.
I told her I don’t have a job for a Sexy French maid, She takes my advertising poster from me and turns it around, and it says, “Wanted, a Sexy French Maid”.
So we had a late breakfast at eleven thirty a.m. and an announcement was made. “There will be no dinner tonight!” You will find peanut butter on the shelf and bread in the bread drawer. And that was followed by: Clean up your mess when you are done!
So the voice from the mountain had spoken
I told her I don’t have a job for a Sexy French maid, She takes my advertising poster from me and turns it around, and it says, “Wanted, a Sexy French Maid”.
So we had a late breakfast at eleven thirty a.m. and an announcement was made. “There will be no dinner tonight!” You will find peanut butter on the shelf and bread in the bread drawer. And that was followed by: Clean up your mess when you are done!
So the voice from the mountain had spoken
July i8, 2010
Ben R.
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