" Land of the Free "

Those that have and those that don’t. When I was a baby, I was the prettiest baby of all. People just couldn’t keep their hands off of me. They would laugh and coo and speak to me in languages that few could understand.  Everyone had to hold and squeeze me and some times, so tight, it would cause gas to come from the far end.

This is the way it was for several for several years, in the early part of my life. In fact I was kidnaped over a dozen times, while I was young. The sad part was, I was returned to where they found me, each time, with a note saying, I was a defective child. No one ever said what that was, and it is still a mystery today.  I was loved, but those people are all old and have gone to a far better place to live or to a place called Heaven. 

I have had a normal life, was well educated, married and had several children.
I was married six times and after a year or two, my wifes would disappear and they were never to be found again. 

Most people though I was a perfect mate, I always had a good job and plenty of money, dressed nicely and had no bad habits, to speak of, I was generous and spoke well of everyone. Whatever my family ask for, I provided, if at all possible. When the children turned sixteen, or even younger, they each moved away from home and were never to return again.

But the answer to that same old un-answered question, why I was always left alone?  Could it have been the Gas that I couldn’t control, or was it because I was always chasing Fire trucks and Emergency vehicle’s or was it that my head was always turning to look at a pretty girl?  Could it have been because I would occasionally bring one of them home with me and keep her around for a week or so? Could it have been for a reason unknown to me?

Over a thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel, pick up your shovels, mount your Asses and Camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land.

Nearly seventy five years ago, (when welfare was introduced) Roosevelt said; lay down your shovels, set on your asses and light up a camel, this is the Promised Land.

Today, Congress has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of camels, and mortgaged the Promised Land.

I was so depressed last night, thinking about Health Care plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds etc. … I called the Suicide Hot line. I had to press 1 for English. Then I was connected to a call center in Pakistan, I told them I was Suicidal and they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck?

How can one win without a gun in hand and a mask to cover his or her face?     

By; Ben R.

July 2014