A lesion that went wrong, I should have paid more attention, but it all seamed so easy to do. Toast and dry cereal with coffee was getting hard to take, I needed something different, something hot that would keep me going all morning,
I watched Mother cook that stuff a thousand time or more, and I knew it wasn’t all that hard to do. I got everything that I thought I would need, out of the cupboard, and a bowl to mix it in. I couldn’t find a flat dish or a cookie sheet so I used a cake pan.
I poured the batter in the pan and put it in the oven, turned the oven to three hundred and fifty degrees and waited. The batter was making bubbles and that was all. I had forgotten to put in the backing soda.
So I took the pan out of the oven and burned my fingers doing this, added a little backing soda, than I reached for the cook book to check if I had missed anything else. Well I had to search for the book and I really couldn’t find a recipe for biscuits but I had one for cup cakes. But it didn’t help much.
That was when I noticed the oven door was coming open and white stuff was coming out around the edges. With the oven door open, it didn’t expand much more. Couldn’t get the stuff cleaned out of the over as it set and was harder than a rock. I bent my longest and strongest crow bar trying to get it lose. Had to go to an appliance store and buy a new kitchen range, there went another $500.00 dollars.
But they couldn’t deliver it for three days. When it came it was all white and I ordered a light creamy yellow one to match the other things in the kitchen. The truck driver wouldn’t take it back to the store, unless the store gave an order to do so.
Three days later, they came and took it back. That was when we discovered they had sent a gas range and the old range was electric. The gas cost two hundred dollars more and they wouldn’t give me a refund on the over payment because the electric ranges were on sale. They only had one range left and it was a rust color, so they delivered that one.
I sat down and was looking at and reading my mail, and there was an official letter from the Army, they were recalling me to active duty and I was supposed to report in , yesterday. I called them right away and tried to explain what had happened.
I don’t think they believed me and said that I had better be there to answer roll call that next morning or the Military would be looking for me.
My wife was spending some time helping a sick sister and I didn’t know when to expect her home. Who could I call to come and take care of the kids and animals ? Didn’t know anyone that I could ask. I called Well fare, Family fare. Emergency services, no one could help me. I finally hired a nurse from Health care at a hundred dollars a day and had to pay for a week, up front.
I was almost late arriving at the base, and was still in civilian clothing when I answered roll call. Before the troop was dismissed, the sergeant came to me and said; the Captain wanted to see me, and he was mad as a hornet!
I had to report to the mess hall and assigned to assist the cook. I was helping him to make biscuits, thousands of biscuits…This was no job for an officer and I started giving the cook, a day that he would never forget. Everyone could see the fire in my eyes and the smokes coming up off of me and everyone was doing their best to stay out of my way, even the old captain.
Back at house, I have no idea what had happened. I called home and my daughter answered the phone, she said her mother was back home, but out, at the moment. She said the nurse was there for two days and she did get the mess I left in the kitchen cleaned up. Then she asked? What were you trying to make anyway?
She said her mother really liked the rust color on the range, so she bought all new appliances to match the color. Now she was out looking for new flooring for the kitchen. She said, for you not to worry about money. She took out a second mortgage on the house, and also bought a few other new things.
I made such a fuss at the camp, I was sent to the war front and on the front lines. The first thing I knew, I was on a stretcher, being carried to an e-vac area and laid on the ground with a bunch of other dead guys. I didn’t like being in the Army anyway, but now what am I going to do. Guess I had better talk with the big boss and see what he has in mind for me. I am a leader, not a follower! Not sure if I will stay here or not.
I finally met the big guy, He scared the hell out of me, His shoe size is larger than my car! His name is Jesus’ and you better not slobber or studier when you say it….
Jesus told me not to worry, he never could make biscuits either!
By: Ben
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