" Help Needed

Help Needed,

As the end grows near, well not the near. I have been sending out feelers to find where the best place is for me. What I have found out is very disturbing. No one wants me! Heaven has no vacancies and there are no hard cases allowed down below as reservations have been processed from a very large number of you.

No place for me, this is somewhat surprising! I am so good natured and a barrel of laughter and fun and I require very little care and can be handled roughly, no need for kid gloves. Some days, I do not eat anything, I make my own bed, but I do require the prettiest girl over twenty years of age. To help me wash behind my ears and between my toes. I am told that I do snore, but it is done very quietly and I would doubt if you would ever hear it.

I am able to pay my own way, but I do not like to travel because of my nasty end problems, which are offensive, even to myself. My quarters must be close to a bathroom in case of an emergency and toilet tissue must be kept on hand and Laundry service is mandatory.

Anyone want to collect some money for care giving to an older citizen? Silver dollars are fun to hold and count! They have that certain sound that really gets ones attention. I like to bite on them when in pain. You can’t find anything better on a windy day, to hold you down, than a pocket full of silver dollars.

I promise, I won’t make any promises that you and I don’t like to promise!

By; Ben R.

June of 2014