"Cave Living"

Living in a cave can be fun, cheap, inventive, exciting and dangerous, all at the same time. That is, if you don’t get rid of all those Critters and prehistorically cave dwellers before you try to move in.

Once, I got lost in a cave. There were six adjourning rooms and they each had an entrance with light showing. But I still couldn’t find my way out.

From each entrance, looking out, nothing looked the same. As I moved around in there, I could hear Growling and snoring sounds and the smell of something dead or dying.

It is said; that the Big Foot creatures have an un-mistakable odor and if you were to wake one, while he was sleeping, he will chase and catch you and you will become hi mate. It will make no difference if you are male or female.

Everyone knows that the Big Foot critters are all Gay or By-sexual. Little Big Foot’s come for a planted seed that grows in the back of them caves.

But this part of Cave living is the easy part. Wait until you try to put an address on your new property, the paper work will drive you insane and the Government has no idea of what to do, should they should classify you as an illegal alien or a foreign dignitary or just a visiting relative. 

And the IRS already has a tax amount in place for Cave living. But these, are for the caves with running water, waste disposal, and electrical power. If you don’t already have these things in place, it will be nightmare trying to arrange for them.  The number of people that can live in one cave depends on the cubic air volume available.  How many Bats there are in the cave and the type of floor in the cave and there is an additional book of form, 108 pages, that has to be filed and approved by seven federal agencies,    

Or, you can do like I did, I told them to go to Hell. With no address, they can’t find me. Me, and all the other critters, are getting along great, with each other. We take turns carrying out the trash!  The stream near-by, provides clean drinking water and bathing for those of us that want a bath. Finding a spot to go to the bathroom, is getting to be a problem. Most of us know enough to go down stream. But there is always someone

Who doesn’t use his or her brain, and she is not going to be with us for long!  Of course, one must always watch where they step, inside or outside of the cave.

If you can afford the rent or house payment, live in a house like the rest of your family and friends!

By; Ben R.

July  2014