The cook,
She gave me something for Supper last night, and said they were French Fries. What it really was, was a training course for chewing up gravel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After twenty years of eating hamburger at home. we were able to go out for dinner years later.
I didn't know that one could order other things to eat, so I ordered a Hamburger. When it was served I had to send it back to the kitchen, I could actually sink my teeth into it. I thought it
had to be Black as coal and Hard as a Brick, to be done.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eating out...
While out to dinner our conversation was turned to arthritis, my wife Peggy was asked how her arthritis was in her hand, she extended her arm and stuck a finger up in the air. With that, the house went up in a roar! We should have gotten our supper free for the entertainment that it provided....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Gas out..,
While out to dinner with friends, this guy had gas on his stomach and just couldn't hold it any longer. He tried real hard , but it started out with a whistle and ended with the sound of a
deflated inner tube. He pointed to my wife Peggy as she slowly lowered herself beneath the table. Again, no Free Dinner! more than thirty people were watching!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fresh Bread..
Peggy baked Bread today. After it had cooled I was going to have a slice of it. Couldn't hang on to it and it fell to the floor. The cast will come off my foot in nine weeks!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Birthday Dinner...
My friend Bill was having a birthday, so I told him I would take him any place he wanted to go and eat for his birthday. We have a long standing joke about having a McDonald's Senior Citizens Card where one can eat all they want for free, at the McDonald's dumpster . My friend Bill never liked McDonalds and didn't know what he wanted to eat for his Birthday Dinner. So he said, take me where ever you want to! As I was driving down the street, I turned into the McDonalds drive way and drove around to the back. My friend Bill turned and gave me the most disgusting look as I stopped along the side of the dumpster, I look at him and said: here you are old friend, all you can eat and you have a choice too. Did you know that McDonalds toss out all their food after it has been on their rack for an hour. Bill enjoyed his dinner even if it was at another restaurant. McDonald's lost again!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Charged with Bad Cooking......
Peggy never did like to cook and is some what noted for her style of cooking. At one family gathering, she was charged with endangering people's lives with her cooking and put on trial. "There were Twelve people on the jury and more than thirty spectators ! “ they all found her Guilty"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Most women use a timer for cooking and Baking. Mine uses a Smoke Alarm and two window fans!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Playing Games.....
Peg had been wanting a new set of dinner ware, but she had a cupboard full of old dishes. So she started dropping and breaking them. When the cupboard was close to being empty, I bought her a new set, They were Tin, covered with that blue enamel with white dots. Now when she dropped one it didn't break, but they made so much noise I couldn't stand it. We have been using Paper plates and cups for more that fifteen years now. She still has to wash them so they can be used over again!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shinning like a star !
Oh oh, cover your ears kids, some one is using some bad language. Sounds like breakfast is a thing of the past. I need to stop here and give some aid and comfort to the enemy. Or what ever Monster it was that she was brewing up! I'm back, It's was nothing serious! Mom just found a new way to scramble eggs. The number of eggs has nothing to do with this method. First you drop two or three eggs on the floor, then you step on them to be sure that they are all broken. Then you slide across the floor, preferable on your feet, until they are well scrambled. Once this is done, you scrape them up into a pile, scoop them up and place them in the sink or pan of your choice. Cook over an low flame or medium setting until done to your liking. Of course, Mother (Peggy) cooked them with the flame from her mouth and eyes! One good thing is, the floor really shines now. Peggy was laughing as I had toast and coffee breakfast, I did ask if I had to eat the eggs? "She said No".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She gave me something for Supper last night, and said they were French Fries. What it really was, was a training course for chewing up gravel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After twenty years of eating hamburger at home. we were able to go out for dinner years later.
I didn't know that one could order other things to eat, so I ordered a Hamburger. When it was served I had to send it back to the kitchen, I could actually sink my teeth into it. I thought it
had to be Black as coal and Hard as a Brick, to be done.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eating out...
While out to dinner our conversation was turned to arthritis, my wife Peggy was asked how her arthritis was in her hand, she extended her arm and stuck a finger up in the air. With that, the house went up in a roar! We should have gotten our supper free for the entertainment that it provided....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Gas out..,
While out to dinner with friends, this guy had gas on his stomach and just couldn't hold it any longer. He tried real hard , but it started out with a whistle and ended with the sound of a
deflated inner tube. He pointed to my wife Peggy as she slowly lowered herself beneath the table. Again, no Free Dinner! more than thirty people were watching!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fresh Bread..
Peggy baked Bread today. After it had cooled I was going to have a slice of it. Couldn't hang on to it and it fell to the floor. The cast will come off my foot in nine weeks!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Birthday Dinner...
My friend Bill was having a birthday, so I told him I would take him any place he wanted to go and eat for his birthday. We have a long standing joke about having a McDonald's Senior Citizens Card where one can eat all they want for free, at the McDonald's dumpster . My friend Bill never liked McDonalds and didn't know what he wanted to eat for his Birthday Dinner. So he said, take me where ever you want to! As I was driving down the street, I turned into the McDonalds drive way and drove around to the back. My friend Bill turned and gave me the most disgusting look as I stopped along the side of the dumpster, I look at him and said: here you are old friend, all you can eat and you have a choice too. Did you know that McDonalds toss out all their food after it has been on their rack for an hour. Bill enjoyed his dinner even if it was at another restaurant. McDonald's lost again!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Charged with Bad Cooking......
Peggy never did like to cook and is some what noted for her style of cooking. At one family gathering, she was charged with endangering people's lives with her cooking and put on trial. "There were Twelve people on the jury and more than thirty spectators ! “ they all found her Guilty"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Most women use a timer for cooking and Baking. Mine uses a Smoke Alarm and two window fans!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Playing Games.....
Peg had been wanting a new set of dinner ware, but she had a cupboard full of old dishes. So she started dropping and breaking them. When the cupboard was close to being empty, I bought her a new set, They were Tin, covered with that blue enamel with white dots. Now when she dropped one it didn't break, but they made so much noise I couldn't stand it. We have been using Paper plates and cups for more that fifteen years now. She still has to wash them so they can be used over again!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shinning like a star !
Oh oh, cover your ears kids, some one is using some bad language. Sounds like breakfast is a thing of the past. I need to stop here and give some aid and comfort to the enemy. Or what ever Monster it was that she was brewing up! I'm back, It's was nothing serious! Mom just found a new way to scramble eggs. The number of eggs has nothing to do with this method. First you drop two or three eggs on the floor, then you step on them to be sure that they are all broken. Then you slide across the floor, preferable on your feet, until they are well scrambled. Once this is done, you scrape them up into a pile, scoop them up and place them in the sink or pan of your choice. Cook over an low flame or medium setting until done to your liking. Of course, Mother (Peggy) cooked them with the flame from her mouth and eyes! One good thing is, the floor really shines now. Peggy was laughing as I had toast and coffee breakfast, I did ask if I had to eat the eggs? "She said No".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ben R. Bauer
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