Monday, April 7, 2008

Story Time again..

“ I heard that!” Stop mumbling to yourself, if you have something to say, spit it out!

If a story was easy to believe, you still wouldn’t know if it were true or not. But I have something going for me, it’s about Peggy’s cooking. As many of you know, her cooking is something short of being special or legal.

Some weeks ago she decided to make chili. She never makes it the same way twice. You would probably be surprised to know how many ways it can be made. I have gotten so I never question what it is I am eating, when she sets something on the table in front of me, I eat it. I usually spend the rest of the night going in and out of the little house out back. Of course we moved our little house into the big house last year.

As you know there are little rubber spacers things between the toilet seat and the rim of the toilet, about one eighth to a quarter of an inch high, to separate the two.

On this particular evening, on the first run to the little room! “Now take a deep breath” as I just know you will find what I am about to reveal, hard to believe. There was a build up of gas in my stomach that almost had me floating in the air. I had no sooner gotten seated when the explosion and eruption started. Smoke came boiling out from between the toiled set and the toilet rim and it was more like a white ash than steam. It was so thick that the wall, less than two feet away could not be seen.

I had this really bad taste in my mouth and had to keep my mouth closed tight for fear of over flowing. But yellow lava looking stuff started dripping from both ears. We called 911 and soon I was at the emergency room at the hospital. No one knew what it was or how to treat it. They decided to pump my stomach and had to call a tanker truck to pump it into and contain the stuff. They found that by placing me in a cold meat storage box they could control the stuff somewhat. Laboratories around the country could not identify it and Peggy wasn’t going to tell anyone what she had put in her chili.

She had came close to achieving nuclear fission and when the Pentagon got word of this, they sent a team of specialists to investigate. Of course they placed her under arrest and carted her off to one of them federal prisons! Did you know, they charge you for room and board, laundry service, and any other service they provide for a prisoner! The first weeks bill was shocking, to say the least. I told them that I didn’t have any money, That I was a street person and had just been escorted out of Texas and gave them your phone number and address and told them you owned property around the country.

Sorry, but all I can do is invite you to supper the next time we have chili!

With Love “ Ben “

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