What is a Wife?
A wife is a female person who is always in need of money, She never gets breakfast for her man, because she has a bad taste in her mouth, looks bad in the mornings and doesn’t want him to see her like that. She is always stressed out because she couldn’t sleep and had a very bad night. She never has any-thing to wear and needs an all new ward robe. She is over worked and never gets a vacation. Also, she never receives any pay for the work she does at home. Her friends always have the things they want and she gets nothing. She is going crazy and need a long rest! Yes, this is the same women that has a bad headache every night.
She don’t like the way you dress and gets very angry if you want to go bowling with the boys. You went fishing with them three years ago, “she said”, and that should be enough! She only gets one night a week, to have the girls meet at her house And they meet three nights a week at other homes.
He has been wanting to go hunting, but he can’t find his rifle, because she has sold it or lent it to her brother, which is the same thing as selling it. But he doesn’t know this yet!
Single Man
If you are single, you come home from work, you lay your head on your pillow at night and think about what you did today. In the morning, you wake and do it all over again. Day after day, No one pats you on the back and tells you, you did a good job and you are not looking for someone to do that.
If Married and you had a good day.
She wants to be sure she ruins the rest of your evening . You ask, what’s for dinner and what you hear is pure torture. Whatever you do, don’t ask what her day was like, you’ll hear about it sooner or later. You don’t see the kids around anywhere and ask about them. She tells you how much trouble they were today, so she had the police come and take them away. Then she says she does not want them back. This is when she tells you that she has to have more money to run the house. She shows you a stack of bills that have never been paid and then the letters from all the collection agencies. Before you can read them, she is telling you that they came and took the car away and about all the telephone calls.
If you were to ask her to describe a man, she could do it in one sentence, she would say: He is a disgusting pile of crap that has a very simple mind that is occupied with but one thought and that is a self serving attitude and that he smells bad and has a broken bell clinger.
What is a Husband?
He is a male person that works hard and wants to be seen with a pretty women. He is looking for sex whenever he wants it and can’t afford to spend a hundred dollars every time he wants sex. He likes to look at other beautiful women and is Crucified whenever he looks at one. He married the lady because he liked the way she looked and wanted to be seen with her on his arm. They have been married for fifteen or sixteen years, Now he is ashamed to be seen with her and when he was asked who the women was, with him in his car, he would say it was some-one’s Grandmother and he was giving her a ride home.
Each Saturday, he gets a list of things to do around the house that would take a week to get them all done. He loves his children and would always find the time to play with them. Yet, he has to bow down in front of the wife and kiss the ground she walks on, to be forgiven. And being forgiven only lasts for a short time.
She has been after him to call the insurance agent and increase his life policy another five hundred thousand dollars. This is when he shows her the holes in his shoes and she cuts some cardboard to fit in his shoes.
He wanted the children to attend Sunday school, She says No. He and the children want a dog for a pet, She says No again! The fish tank is enough! She says. He tried to tell her the fish are all dead. And she told him to flush them. He comes home from work the next day, she hands him a news paper, she got from a neighbor and the help wanted ads are circled in red ink.
She received a thank you card in the mail today. It was from her kids, thanking her for sending them away. They were happy and having a great time. They said thank you, about twenty time in that card. Said they would remember her for- ever and what a wonderful thing it was, that she had done. God works many wonders, wouldn’t you agree. Now who is going to help me?
I am old and have no job and I have tried all that other stuff and it didn’t work.
Now what? “Ben”
She don’t like the way you dress and gets very angry if you want to go bowling with the boys. You went fishing with them three years ago, “she said”, and that should be enough! She only gets one night a week, to have the girls meet at her house And they meet three nights a week at other homes.
He has been wanting to go hunting, but he can’t find his rifle, because she has sold it or lent it to her brother, which is the same thing as selling it. But he doesn’t know this yet!
Single Man
If you are single, you come home from work, you lay your head on your pillow at night and think about what you did today. In the morning, you wake and do it all over again. Day after day, No one pats you on the back and tells you, you did a good job and you are not looking for someone to do that.
If Married and you had a good day.
She wants to be sure she ruins the rest of your evening . You ask, what’s for dinner and what you hear is pure torture. Whatever you do, don’t ask what her day was like, you’ll hear about it sooner or later. You don’t see the kids around anywhere and ask about them. She tells you how much trouble they were today, so she had the police come and take them away. Then she says she does not want them back. This is when she tells you that she has to have more money to run the house. She shows you a stack of bills that have never been paid and then the letters from all the collection agencies. Before you can read them, she is telling you that they came and took the car away and about all the telephone calls.
If you were to ask her to describe a man, she could do it in one sentence, she would say: He is a disgusting pile of crap that has a very simple mind that is occupied with but one thought and that is a self serving attitude and that he smells bad and has a broken bell clinger.
What is a Husband?
He is a male person that works hard and wants to be seen with a pretty women. He is looking for sex whenever he wants it and can’t afford to spend a hundred dollars every time he wants sex. He likes to look at other beautiful women and is Crucified whenever he looks at one. He married the lady because he liked the way she looked and wanted to be seen with her on his arm. They have been married for fifteen or sixteen years, Now he is ashamed to be seen with her and when he was asked who the women was, with him in his car, he would say it was some-one’s Grandmother and he was giving her a ride home.
Each Saturday, he gets a list of things to do around the house that would take a week to get them all done. He loves his children and would always find the time to play with them. Yet, he has to bow down in front of the wife and kiss the ground she walks on, to be forgiven. And being forgiven only lasts for a short time.
She has been after him to call the insurance agent and increase his life policy another five hundred thousand dollars. This is when he shows her the holes in his shoes and she cuts some cardboard to fit in his shoes.
He wanted the children to attend Sunday school, She says No. He and the children want a dog for a pet, She says No again! The fish tank is enough! She says. He tried to tell her the fish are all dead. And she told him to flush them. He comes home from work the next day, she hands him a news paper, she got from a neighbor and the help wanted ads are circled in red ink.
She received a thank you card in the mail today. It was from her kids, thanking her for sending them away. They were happy and having a great time. They said thank you, about twenty time in that card. Said they would remember her for- ever and what a wonderful thing it was, that she had done. God works many wonders, wouldn’t you agree. Now who is going to help me?
I am old and have no job and I have tried all that other stuff and it didn’t work.
Now what? “Ben”
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