White Feathers dipped in Blood

White Feathers dipped in Blood,

When them Damn Bells are ringing in the church tower. And you are about to die from a bad headache. Now is the time to pray and pray hard. There are no pill or liquid creation that will help you, just put your head under the water in the bathroom stool and pull the handle to flush. Not only can you hear them bells, but you can feel them causing every part of your body to vibrate.

How you wish you were far away from this place, where peace and quite is all you can hear, There could have been maybe a light wind causing a leaf to rattle against another leaf. The place is void of all sound and no other person has ever been there. It has to be the land where dreams are given life and allowed to grow. Then you ask yourself, where is this place, am I dead and is this the end?

But before you get a second chance for another thought, the sound of those dreaded bells are back and they cause you to shake as if each bell is pushing you this way and that way and inside out. You eyes won’t focus and all there is are flashing colors all around you. How much longer will them bells ring and who is making them ring. You are ready to promise anything if they will just stop ringing them. Can you remember how many times you have said this before, “I promise,” I’ll never do( what ever it was) again”? But you really didn’t mean it, did you? Yes, you don’t remember saying that any longer than it took you to say it!

Then out of no where, you are in a flood and are drowning. You gasp for air and try to find something to hang on to. There are voices and you are not sure what they are saying. All of a sudden, a voice clear as a bell is telling you, to get up, it is time to go to work and the blankets are taken away from your body and it is cold. This is a lot worse than being blind-folded and shot. It was then that you recognized the person standing the with an empty bucket that showed signs of having had cold water in it.

Could that person be your mother, No! your mother wouldn’t do this to you, but your brother or sister would. A few moments later, your eyes begin to clear and you can see who is doing this to you. It’s Grandma and she appears to be angry. As soon as this registers in your mind, you are on your feet and standing at attention. Grandma was a drill sergeant in the Women’s Army Coir during World War Two. No one has ever messed around with Grandma when she barked an order! Your father was an enlisted man in the marines and was always ready to fight at the drop of a hat, but your mother was just a soft spoken girl that showed more love than anything else. You were always more like your mother than your were of grand-mother or your father.

Your brother and sister were always bossy and took command of most things, like grandma and Dad. They were always pushing you around and telling you to do this or that. Both of them were younger than you and you never should have let them start telling you to do anything. Remember how your dog use to growl at you, even he would try to be your boss. In fact, everyone in the neighbor hood and at school were thinking of you as a cry baby and a sissy. But the older girls and ladies thought that you were the best that could be found in a man. Love can take you a long way but it won’t buy much.

Boy, are you ever going to be happy when you are out of high school and have a job and living all by yourself. Working part time at the drug store isn’t going to do much for you, unless you want to become a soda jerk or sell perfume and special occasion cards. But you do enjoy being around them giggling girls and the smiles they give you!

The years seem to pass so slowly and you think, I will never be grown up enough to be out in the world alone. You have been waiting to get to the age so you can get a drivers license, if that will ever happen! Meanwhile, life deals you one bad day after another. Your mother appears to be the only friend or person that you can talk to and offers the best advise. You’re Dad is always so busy working and if not that he is out with his friends fishing or playing gulf. You have heard stories about him being a ladies man and there hasn’t been a female alive that he hasn’t tried to get close to.

Men like father, really are Beasts and there should be something that could be done to punish them. There is a family that live in another town not far away, they say his father is the father of two of the children in the family. Your mother spent many hours alone and crying because of him. The most recent afar was with three beautiful African females that came to town with a circus. There was about to be a divorce in the family, But Grandma went to see the man who owned the circus. He had to lock the girls in the lions cage until they left town. It seems that all the police-man know the father by his first name. Not only that, but one would think he was a politician running for a public office, because everyone in town knows him. Come to think about it, you are not really sure what your father does for a living. When ever people talk about him, they usually are laughing.

You never had much faith in God or believed in religion, But lately you have been praying when you go to bed at night! There has to be a way to change things for yourself. You are willing to try almost anything. You have been doing pretty well, putting this stuff behind you and not letting it bother you. The question is: Can you continue to do this?

Now, let us return to where the bells were ringing, Why were these people ( My Grandmother) so eager to get you up out of bed to go work in a drug store. Something doesn’t seem to be in the right place here. But how am I going to find out what is going on? Maybe if I were to pretend I was off to work and came back, I could learn something. I found a good place to stay out of sight and was watching my room through a window while in a tree next door. Why was Grandma cutting the mattress on my bed all to pieces and putting all the stuffing in a plastic bag. It was about then that a truck pulled up in front of the house and was unloading new mattress, but why?

I would have to wait and see what Grandmother is going to do next. It was long before she came out of the house and got into the family car and drove off down the street. Of course I had no way to follow her to where ever she was going. So down the tree and off to work I went. I was late to work and the manager was watching me closely and I knew I was going to be invited into his office for some questioning. I had decided it was not in my best interest to say anything and he would not learn anything from me. I could have just said that I slept in, but what the hell, I really didn’t like working there all that much. That evening at supper, I ask Mom what happened to my old mattress and she ask why! I told her I was saving some money and had it hid in the mattress. Grandma spoke up and said the mattress was dirty and needed to be disposed of and she knew I had some money there, so she took it and bought a new mattress. I said the mattress was okay and She said: the dog had been sleeping on my bed and she found flees and other bugs in it. That is where the conversation ended. When Grandma makes a ruling, that’s it!

Now I have lost my job, lost over $315.00 and have to break in a new mattress and the dog is not allowed in my room and summer is about start and what in Heaven am I going to do now? I have a funny feeling that Grandma has plans that include me. I think I had better check out the child labor laws for this state.

Our High School graduation will be here soon and I have no girl friend that will go to the dance with me. Most of the guys have cars and the girls will pick the guys with cars, and go with them. Perhaps I should consider leaving town after graduation, if not I am dead meat one way or the other.

I wasn’t a good student in high school so a scholarship for me is out of the question. My folks would never take out a loan for me to attend collage. The only other way to go to collage is to find a job and work my way through it. But who in their right mind is going to give me a job while I am going to collage. They say, once you start off on the wrong foot, you will always be out of step in the world! But as you can see, everything in this world is moving much too fast, someone put your foot on the brake and stop it, so I can catch my breath and get my bearings .

So now you know why I joined the Army and was sent to Afghanistan, where I was shot and died. Now I have nothing to worry about, except the Heat down here!

Jan. 2, 2010
“Ben R.”