Today is Tuesday and I have decided to make Tuesdays a DREAM DAY Mostly to make wishes for things I never had to go to places that I have never been To do things that I have never done. If it makes me cry I make Wednesdays CRYING TEAR DAY.
There is only one other day that is more important than these two days and that is: HUNGER DAY and I never get enough of those days. I am so fat, I keep blocking the view from being seen. I am so fat, it blocks the sun from shinning. I am so fat, I can’t see if I am wearing shoes. I am so fat, it takes two blankets to cover me from one side to the other. I am so fat, bed pans go flat when I set on them.
I am so fat, I have to be taken to the highway truck scales to get weighed. I am so fat, takes six ladies holding hands to reach around me. I am so fat, all the regular house doors had to be replaced with garage doors. I am so fat, no one can find skid marks in my shorts. I am so fat, I have to take a bath in a swimming pool and when I get in, most of the water gets out. I am so fat, I don’t have any wrinkles ,my skin is like an inflated balloon. I am so fat, I have to travel by truck and be loaded and unloaded with a fork lift.
I am so fat, it takes four cooks to prepare my food. I am so fat, if I am moved, people on the other side have to be told so they can use a counter balance. I am so fat, it takes a team of traffic controllers to direct traffic and it has to be done between two and three a.m.
Not only am I fat but I expel explosive gas , and no fires or flames or smoking is allowed around me. I have so much gas, a fleet of cabs can run for three days with-out refilling. I have so much gas, my pilot light alone will heat the whole house indefinitely. I have so much gas ,the Geneva convention says it is illegal for me to be used on a battle field. I have so much gas, Sulfur pools die when I get close to them. I have so much gas, people go to sleep when they hear I am close by.
Not only am I fat and have gas, but my light is really dim. I am so dim, I have to display flashing red and amber lights twenty four hours a day as a warning to others. My catalytic converter, has been replaced so many times, the factory can’t keep up the production to replace them. Not to mention that I am so poor, the buffalos on my nickels have to sleep together. I am so poor, it takes five quarters to make seventy five cents I am so poor, my gold teeth have turned green. I am so poor ,The Indians took back my Indian blanket. I am so poor, I don’t even have an address. I am so poor, a rain drop floods my basement. I am so poor, I can’t be called a street person, bum, vagrant or a Mexican. I am so poor, My birth certificate was even annulled.
I don’t know how many arms and legs I am supposed to have, we can’t find them. My grin is stretched out of shape. if I need a drink they just hose me down. If I need to pee “Look out” you won’t know where it will come from and I get hosed down again. Besides all this I always have a smile on my face and I am Pretty good at drinking Beer.
Now she tells me, I do not drink Beer.
By: Ben R.
11/11/2010
There is only one other day that is more important than these two days and that is: HUNGER DAY and I never get enough of those days. I am so fat, I keep blocking the view from being seen. I am so fat, it blocks the sun from shinning. I am so fat, I can’t see if I am wearing shoes. I am so fat, it takes two blankets to cover me from one side to the other. I am so fat, bed pans go flat when I set on them.
I am so fat, I have to be taken to the highway truck scales to get weighed. I am so fat, takes six ladies holding hands to reach around me. I am so fat, all the regular house doors had to be replaced with garage doors. I am so fat, no one can find skid marks in my shorts. I am so fat, I have to take a bath in a swimming pool and when I get in, most of the water gets out. I am so fat, I don’t have any wrinkles ,my skin is like an inflated balloon. I am so fat, I have to travel by truck and be loaded and unloaded with a fork lift.
I am so fat, it takes four cooks to prepare my food. I am so fat, if I am moved, people on the other side have to be told so they can use a counter balance. I am so fat, it takes a team of traffic controllers to direct traffic and it has to be done between two and three a.m.
Not only am I fat but I expel explosive gas , and no fires or flames or smoking is allowed around me. I have so much gas, a fleet of cabs can run for three days with-out refilling. I have so much gas, my pilot light alone will heat the whole house indefinitely. I have so much gas ,the Geneva convention says it is illegal for me to be used on a battle field. I have so much gas, Sulfur pools die when I get close to them. I have so much gas, people go to sleep when they hear I am close by.
Not only am I fat and have gas, but my light is really dim. I am so dim, I have to display flashing red and amber lights twenty four hours a day as a warning to others. My catalytic converter, has been replaced so many times, the factory can’t keep up the production to replace them. Not to mention that I am so poor, the buffalos on my nickels have to sleep together. I am so poor, it takes five quarters to make seventy five cents I am so poor, my gold teeth have turned green. I am so poor ,The Indians took back my Indian blanket. I am so poor, I don’t even have an address. I am so poor, a rain drop floods my basement. I am so poor, I can’t be called a street person, bum, vagrant or a Mexican. I am so poor, My birth certificate was even annulled.
I don’t know how many arms and legs I am supposed to have, we can’t find them. My grin is stretched out of shape. if I need a drink they just hose me down. If I need to pee “Look out” you won’t know where it will come from and I get hosed down again. Besides all this I always have a smile on my face and I am Pretty good at drinking Beer.
Now she tells me, I do not drink Beer.
By: Ben R.
11/11/2010
No comments:
Post a Comment