Today is Tuesday and I have decided to make Tuesdays a DREAM DAY, Mostly to make wishes for things I never had, to go to places that I have never been, To do things that I have never done. If it makes me cry, I make Wednesday TEAR DAY.
There is only one other day that is more important than these two days, and that is: HUNGER DAY, and I never get enough of those days. I am so fat, I am slow, I am so fat, I keep blocking the view from being seen. I am so fat, it blocks the sun from shinning. I am so fat, I can’t see if I am wearing shoes,
I am so fat, it takes two blankets to cover me from one side to the other. I am so fat, bed pans go flat, when I set on them. I am so fat, I have to be taken to the highway truck scales to weight. I am so fat, it takes six ladies, holding hands to reach around me.
I am so fat, all the regular house doors had to be replaced with garage doors. I am so fat, no one can find skid marks in my shorts. I am so fat, I have to take a bath in a swimming pool and when I get in, most of the water gets out. I am so fat, I don’t have any wrinkles, my skin is like an inflated balloon. I am so fat, I have to travel by truck and be loaded and unloaded with a fork lift.
I am so fat, it takes four cooks to feed me my food. They find a spot on my stomach and rub it in. I am so fat, if I am moved, people on the other side, have to be told so they can use a counter balance. I am so fat, it takes a team of traffic controllers to direct traffic and it has to be done between two and three a.m. on Tuesdays.
Not only am I fat, but I expel dangerous gas and no fires or flames or smoking is allowed around me. I have so much gas, a fleet of New York City cabs can run for three days with-out refilling. I have so much gas, my pilot light alone will heat the whole house indefinitely. I have so much gas, the Geneva convention says it is illegal for me to be used on a battle field. Sulfur pools, die when I get close to them. I have so much gas, people go to sleep when they hear I am close by.
Not only am I fat, and have gas, but my light is really dim. I have to display flashing red and amber, lights twenty four hours a day as a warning to others. My catalytic converter, has been replaced so many time the factory can’t keep up the production to replace them.
Not to mention that I am so poor. the buffalo on my nickels have to sleep together to keep warm, I am so poor, it takes five quarters to make seventy five cents, I am so poor, my gold teeth have turned green. I am so poor, The Indians took back my Indian blanket. I am so poor, I don’t even have an address. I am so poor, a rain drop will flood my basement. I am so poor, I don’t qualify to be called a street person, bum, vagrant or a Mexican. I am so poor, My birth certificate was even annulled.
I am told everyone has two arms and two legs, I am so fat, we can’t find them. I am so fat my smile is stretched out of shape. I am so fat, if I need a drink, they just hose me down. If I need to pee, “Look out” you won’t know where it will come from.
By; Ben R.
11-9-2010
There is only one other day that is more important than these two days, and that is: HUNGER DAY, and I never get enough of those days. I am so fat, I am slow, I am so fat, I keep blocking the view from being seen. I am so fat, it blocks the sun from shinning. I am so fat, I can’t see if I am wearing shoes,
I am so fat, it takes two blankets to cover me from one side to the other. I am so fat, bed pans go flat, when I set on them. I am so fat, I have to be taken to the highway truck scales to weight. I am so fat, it takes six ladies, holding hands to reach around me.
I am so fat, all the regular house doors had to be replaced with garage doors. I am so fat, no one can find skid marks in my shorts. I am so fat, I have to take a bath in a swimming pool and when I get in, most of the water gets out. I am so fat, I don’t have any wrinkles, my skin is like an inflated balloon. I am so fat, I have to travel by truck and be loaded and unloaded with a fork lift.
I am so fat, it takes four cooks to feed me my food. They find a spot on my stomach and rub it in. I am so fat, if I am moved, people on the other side, have to be told so they can use a counter balance. I am so fat, it takes a team of traffic controllers to direct traffic and it has to be done between two and three a.m. on Tuesdays.
Not only am I fat, but I expel dangerous gas and no fires or flames or smoking is allowed around me. I have so much gas, a fleet of New York City cabs can run for three days with-out refilling. I have so much gas, my pilot light alone will heat the whole house indefinitely. I have so much gas, the Geneva convention says it is illegal for me to be used on a battle field. Sulfur pools, die when I get close to them. I have so much gas, people go to sleep when they hear I am close by.
Not only am I fat, and have gas, but my light is really dim. I have to display flashing red and amber, lights twenty four hours a day as a warning to others. My catalytic converter, has been replaced so many time the factory can’t keep up the production to replace them.
Not to mention that I am so poor. the buffalo on my nickels have to sleep together to keep warm, I am so poor, it takes five quarters to make seventy five cents, I am so poor, my gold teeth have turned green. I am so poor, The Indians took back my Indian blanket. I am so poor, I don’t even have an address. I am so poor, a rain drop will flood my basement. I am so poor, I don’t qualify to be called a street person, bum, vagrant or a Mexican. I am so poor, My birth certificate was even annulled.
I am told everyone has two arms and two legs, I am so fat, we can’t find them. I am so fat my smile is stretched out of shape. I am so fat, if I need a drink, they just hose me down. If I need to pee, “Look out” you won’t know where it will come from.
By; Ben R.
11-9-2010
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