You keep yours and I'll keep mine.

There appears to be a question as to who is the boss is around here.

I bark but she barks louder. I run, but she can run faster. She can hear everything. I can’t hear anything. She talks and I wonder what she said. She writes the rules on paper and shows them to me when they change. It always takes more than an hour to read and longer to understand, And I thank her for the information!

Yes, it’s true, we don’t agree on much! There was one thing, but I have forgot what it was.

My car is old and runs poorly, I have to use it like a scooter to get it started.

She has unlimited funds for gas and stuff. My limit is three dollars a month. And if there is anything left over, it has to be returned to her

Her car runs really good and it has a radio, four speakers, with FM, FM 1, FM 2, AM Tape deck. CD player. Broad band and super duper sound. And other gadgets that I don’t understand.

I have to hold on to a wire, to get AM and have a choice of two stations.

She can have friends come over, I don’t have any friends that don’t belong to her.

We eat what she likes, My choice, is eat it, or go hungry. She is asking for a new can opener for Christmas. It’s digital. I get to carry the can out to the trash.

When she says jump. I need help to get up. And we march to her tune. My lip still hurts from when she said “pay attention”

She cut the toes off of all my socks so she can use them as legions. She tied all my neck ties in knots and socked them in gas. She removed my name from our joint checking account, She has had more money withheld from my retirement check and has it going to the insurance company for my life insurance. The insurance company called me in for a physical and said I just made it. What was it, I just made?

Everyone says I am a lucky man, why? Is it because I have insurance? I ask the insurance to say: I must die of natural causes before they will pay, they said they will talk to the wife!

My corner of the room is dusty and she said I can use her vacuum, but I’ll have to pay in advance to use her electricity. I could have someone come in and do it, but she refuses to them cross her line. She keeps taking words out of my mouth so I can’t use them. She says only the dirty half of the bath room is mine to use, It’s a problem when I set on the stool! Not only that, but the mirror on the wall won’t let my reflection show either.

Could it be, that she really is the Boss?

By: Ben R.
12/05/2010