"One, Two ,three and they were off"

One two three – and they are off , At the end of the race, it was three, one and two. The fastest horse was in the rear and the slowest came in second. I wasn’t riding in the race but I was the first in line at the finish gate when the checkered flag was dropped . I collected my winnings and called a cab.

Myrtle was at home brewing up some beer. The girls had just left and the mail carrier was making his rounds, when that blue and red steam engine came around the corner, and hit the side on mail box. It made it go flat as a thin piece of paper. My heart stopped for a minute or two and I thought I was a goner. But it had missed me by inches.

The tree that I bumped into was what broke my arm, it will heal in time, was what the nurse said at the bar. She had just finished a shift, and was on her way home to cook supper for those kids and the old man. She had to stop at the store and get a bag of chips and sodas for the kids along with a bag of ice, as the old man wanted ice in his drinks.

She would soak in a tub of hot water and relax until the feeding grounds were clear, then she would muck out the kitchen before going to bed. She would take the trash out in the morning on her way to work.

She always left for work early, as she hated to be around when them kids got up in the mornings. Let the old man take care of them. He told her, if she ever got pregnant again, he would never take care of any kids. And a promise is a promise!

It is so much more fun to work, than to stay at home and be a mother. And sick people in a hospital are a lot easier to take care of in a hospital, than sick kids are at home. My supervisor said I should take my vacation because I have been working so hard, so I could be at home with the kids, but I said, “No thanks” I need the money!

Then she said I would get paid while on vacation, and I said, blow it to the wind, I am sending the kids to visit grandma for two weeks. Maybe I should call their father and have him pack their bags. He can board the cats and the dog at a kennel. Than he can go on a bender for two weeks by himself. He will be so thankful, for my kind consideration. I certainly have a big heart, wouldn’t you say ?

The police came around about two a.m., three days later and ask if I knew this drunk they had in the back seat of the patrol car, I peeked in the window and said:! “No” never seen him before. He didn’t know where he was, but he was having a great time with the girls in the seat with him. The police asked again, are you sure you don’t know this guy. I shook my head “Yes”. and said: I never saw him before.

Myrtle had finished with the beer and had put a cork in the last bottle. Now if only some one would carry it down to the basement for her. She thought to herself. “I’ll bet the boy next door would do it for her” if she flirted with him a little. A girl can get a guy to do most any-thing with a smile and touch here and there. She always left them boys with a silly grin on their faces, and not one of them, understood what had happened ! Sometimes Myrtle felt wicked, knowing she had the power to control.

Grandma was happy to see the kids on that first day, the second day wasn’t quite as bad, but the third day she could have killed them all. That after noon she gave them money and told then they could go to town and do what ever they wanted. That was when she called the air field and made a reservation on the first and fastest airplane leaving that afternoon. With any luck at all, she would be gone when they came home or if they didn’t return. She would pray to Allah , but she never did have a prayer answered.

Mean while a bartender had been busy all day and was looking forward to closing the bar and going home. He really didn’t want to see his girl friend that night, he was just too tired. A hot bath and a good nights rest would be what he needed. He fixed himself some-thing to eat and started the tub filling with hot water. He came back a few minutes later and there was no hot water. Now what? his day had been bad enough. Down to the basement he went and he was standing in a foot of cold water and it was getting deeper.. Or was it the water tank, you couldn’t tell with all the water on the floor. There had be a place to turn it off, but where, he can’t remember. I must be under the water some place. Who would know, who can he call. A plumber or fireman? So he dialed 911.

A fire truck and an ambulance along with a couple of police cars came. One of the police had an old drunk and a couple of girls in the back seat. The drunk said he knew how to turn off the water and said he would be right back. But no one has seen him since.

The next door neighbor came out of her house and turned off a garden hose, that was watering her lawn and the water coming into the basement stopped. Then the fire department pumped out the basement, but couldn’t find a leak anywhere. They decided the water was coming up through the drain in the floor and some how, the garden hose next door was supplying the water. The water had put the flame out on the hot water tank and that is why there was no hot water for a bath for the Bar owner. The gas company would have a man relight the water tank and that would cost $ 50.00.

There has to be a moral to this story some where, and I have no idea what it is. I would guess it to be! Never bet on a horse unless it is a sure thing……………………..

By; Ben R. Sept. 29, 2011