Guess I am going to be a failure forever! I’ve been taking some training in doing house work and cooking. Boy, finding a place to start is difficult, to say the least.
I have been introduced to the Vacuum cleaner and Washing machines, but they haven’t made much of an impression on me. I just about have the dish washing down pat, that is, I can find the hot and cold side of the faucet and the dog helped a lot.
My bed hasn’t been made up for a month, but that will come later. Old one arm is getting all the miles she can, out of the bad shoulder and broken finger. I am afraid she will never return to doing those home making things again.
I have been receiving bills for all the medical things that have been done for her, the insurance is covering most of it, But I never knew there was that much money in the world. Back years ago, when we were young and had no insurance, we put all the bills in a pile, on the table, and selected two or three and paid them. That was when one could live on $5.00 a week, just before the Dinosaur’s became extinct.
Back to house cleaning, the vacuum cleaner has two bare wires that have to be stuck into an electrical outlet, before it will run. All the numbers and instruction on the washer machine, have faded away and it makes a thumping noise like there were shoes inside the drum. My Son asked, if I looked inside, so I did and sure enough there were shoes there!
Once the dishes are done, there is no place to put them in the cupboard. I just leave them on the table, so the table is already set when we want to use it. I really haven’t cooked anything yet, can’t find how to turn on the stove and there are no heating elements, Just a dark plate of glass covering the stove top.
There is something in the ice box that smells really bad. And I will most likely have to buy a new one. The price of a new ice box will take me sixty five years to pay off, but the appliance store says my credit is good!
I have been eating peanut butter sandwiches or crackers with peanut butter and,
Jelly. I have been trying to get the lid off of a new jar of jelly, for a week now. There is at least a dozen of them yellow plastic containers that say Butter on them, in the ice box! I think I have opened them all but haven’t found any butter yet.
There is so much dust on everything in the house, a friend told me to just open the front and back doors and windows and let the wind blow it away, but that didn’t work too good. Most of it is gone but there is still a heavy layer of dust on everything. Someone told me to rent one of them big fans that are used in wind tunnel tests.
I am not sure, but I think there is something living under the carpet in the living room, it keeps moving. A friend came to visit a while back, knocked on the door . I invited him in and he looked around and said No thanks, let’s talk out here. I had to unscrew most of the light bulbs so no one could see just how bad it was in the house. I am thinking of having a cleaning company come in and do a cleaning job on the place, that is, when all the donations come in. It may even need to be sand blasted.
I took a shower in the bath tub, but the water is still in the tub. It just won’t go down the drain pipe. Plumbers cost so much money, I am thinking of drilling a small hole in the bottom of the tub.
All the bread in the house has turned green. And I can’t walk as far as the store. I would call someone to drive me to the store, but the phone doesn’t work. The phone company said it was because of a bill not being paid. I told them to come to the house and I will pay them, but I was told they can’t do that, the Post Office says it has to be mailed in.
People are telling me so many things and it really got me confused. I guess my social life has ended and if I do have a friend left out there somewhere, I don’t know where he or she is.
Once when I had some extra money, I had a lot of friends and relatives were always here for a hand out. It wasn’t long after that, the government said I had to stop making them twenty dollar bills. It was getting confusing, as they couldn’t tell if they were mine or theirs.
If only I had been born a pop singer instead of being handsome and smart. I am the only one in the family that that didn’t have to go to school. In fact, My version of the dictionary is hardly ever used by the un-educated.
Laws were made to be broken and that is why there are so many rich retired Lawyer’s. Just thought I would mention that, so you would know who is in the top ten percent. If you want to hire a lawyer. Find one who is just starting to study law. But I should tell you that a bartender or a plumber can tell you just as much. A plumber will charge you from $ 35.00 and up for an hour. Bartenders don’t charge anything as long as you will buy drinks.
I wanted to make out a will, but Peggy said I didn’t need one. She said she will have it all spent before I go! The best think to do, is to remember that life is better above ground than it is under ground. So, Keep a smile on your faces and point you end at a full moon whenever you see one.
By; Ben R.
Feb. 14,2012
I have been introduced to the Vacuum cleaner and Washing machines, but they haven’t made much of an impression on me. I just about have the dish washing down pat, that is, I can find the hot and cold side of the faucet and the dog helped a lot.
My bed hasn’t been made up for a month, but that will come later. Old one arm is getting all the miles she can, out of the bad shoulder and broken finger. I am afraid she will never return to doing those home making things again.
I have been receiving bills for all the medical things that have been done for her, the insurance is covering most of it, But I never knew there was that much money in the world. Back years ago, when we were young and had no insurance, we put all the bills in a pile, on the table, and selected two or three and paid them. That was when one could live on $5.00 a week, just before the Dinosaur’s became extinct.
Back to house cleaning, the vacuum cleaner has two bare wires that have to be stuck into an electrical outlet, before it will run. All the numbers and instruction on the washer machine, have faded away and it makes a thumping noise like there were shoes inside the drum. My Son asked, if I looked inside, so I did and sure enough there were shoes there!
Once the dishes are done, there is no place to put them in the cupboard. I just leave them on the table, so the table is already set when we want to use it. I really haven’t cooked anything yet, can’t find how to turn on the stove and there are no heating elements, Just a dark plate of glass covering the stove top.
There is something in the ice box that smells really bad. And I will most likely have to buy a new one. The price of a new ice box will take me sixty five years to pay off, but the appliance store says my credit is good!
I have been eating peanut butter sandwiches or crackers with peanut butter and,
Jelly. I have been trying to get the lid off of a new jar of jelly, for a week now. There is at least a dozen of them yellow plastic containers that say Butter on them, in the ice box! I think I have opened them all but haven’t found any butter yet.
There is so much dust on everything in the house, a friend told me to just open the front and back doors and windows and let the wind blow it away, but that didn’t work too good. Most of it is gone but there is still a heavy layer of dust on everything. Someone told me to rent one of them big fans that are used in wind tunnel tests.
I am not sure, but I think there is something living under the carpet in the living room, it keeps moving. A friend came to visit a while back, knocked on the door . I invited him in and he looked around and said No thanks, let’s talk out here. I had to unscrew most of the light bulbs so no one could see just how bad it was in the house. I am thinking of having a cleaning company come in and do a cleaning job on the place, that is, when all the donations come in. It may even need to be sand blasted.
I took a shower in the bath tub, but the water is still in the tub. It just won’t go down the drain pipe. Plumbers cost so much money, I am thinking of drilling a small hole in the bottom of the tub.
All the bread in the house has turned green. And I can’t walk as far as the store. I would call someone to drive me to the store, but the phone doesn’t work. The phone company said it was because of a bill not being paid. I told them to come to the house and I will pay them, but I was told they can’t do that, the Post Office says it has to be mailed in.
People are telling me so many things and it really got me confused. I guess my social life has ended and if I do have a friend left out there somewhere, I don’t know where he or she is.
Once when I had some extra money, I had a lot of friends and relatives were always here for a hand out. It wasn’t long after that, the government said I had to stop making them twenty dollar bills. It was getting confusing, as they couldn’t tell if they were mine or theirs.
If only I had been born a pop singer instead of being handsome and smart. I am the only one in the family that that didn’t have to go to school. In fact, My version of the dictionary is hardly ever used by the un-educated.
Laws were made to be broken and that is why there are so many rich retired Lawyer’s. Just thought I would mention that, so you would know who is in the top ten percent. If you want to hire a lawyer. Find one who is just starting to study law. But I should tell you that a bartender or a plumber can tell you just as much. A plumber will charge you from $ 35.00 and up for an hour. Bartenders don’t charge anything as long as you will buy drinks.
I wanted to make out a will, but Peggy said I didn’t need one. She said she will have it all spent before I go! The best think to do, is to remember that life is better above ground than it is under ground. So, Keep a smile on your faces and point you end at a full moon whenever you see one.
By; Ben R.
Feb. 14,2012
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