"Picking & Pecken"

Two old Hens around 65 or younger. Passing gossip around the neighborhood, using the telephone and a toll free number. They each receive a summons to appear in court to answer charges that were made against them, by the phone company. A bill for several thousand dollars ‘had been accumulated and sent to them for non payment.

The three of them said: “No way” the number was an eight hundred number and everyone knows that eight hundred numbers are no charge numbers. The phone company said: that eight hundred numbers are for one business alone and that business pays for the number.

They were advised to get a good lawyer and be ready for court action, They decided to call the best lawyer around, and put in a call to Perry Mason.  But Perry was out of town to and no longer practicing law. He had lost an important case and became so upset, he stopped being a lawyer. Matloc and Columbo were both busy.

It was then, that ‘Mary’, a Good Will Volunteer, offered to represent them. Now with three old women, all trying to get the last world in, the phone company won’t have a chance of winning their case. But they will learn soon enough. 

The court date was set and the ladies decided to get new outfits, for their appearance in the court room. But two of them had purchased the same outfit and the court was adjourned, until this problem was taken care of.  The phone company objected and the Judge ruled in favor of the Ladies.  Mean while, a high rate of interest was being applied to the phone bill. A matter that would have to be dealt with on it’s own merits.

The trial had gone to the fifth week and people were so angry they were throwing stuff at each other. But when the judge got hit with a rip melon, everyone in the court room was locked up for several days. Once order, was restored, each person had to have the judge’s permission to enter the court room and armed policemen were on hand to keep things in order.        

The next thing to happen was. someone was chewing bubble gum and popping the bubbles, the Judge banged his gavel on the bench ask, who is doing that? then another popping  sound came and the Judge ordered, “No chewing of gum in the court room!  Then someone said, “This is not a room in a school house”. The judge said; he was not going to tolerate any outbursts from anyone in the court room ordered that person, to be removed from the court room.

It was time for lunch and a recess was called for, until one thirty p.m.  It took some time before the court could be called to order again. Once this was done, The lady that was representing the three old women, called for a mistrial. The Judge ask why? She said, because it is un-constitutional, and again the judge asked why? And he heard her say; because it is triple jeopardy, each lady is being tried for the same crime. The Judge said: Over ruled!

The people in the court room, “caused an uproar” and a fight between the three old women broke out, and they were held in contempt and put in jail. Then the Judge and the lawyers went into the judge's chambers and the case against the three old women had been dismissed and that afternoon the Judge had a visit, at his home, from a phone company repairman. That night the Judge’s house was set on fire.

And while the fire was being put out, someone broke into the court house and destroyed  the court room.  Some say it was the phone company and other say it was a mob of citizens. If the truth were to be known, it was the Judges wife!

Hell has no  fury, like a women scorn!  And she had been saving it up, for thirty some  years.

Oct. 13, 2012

By: Ben R.

By; Ben ?