"When I woke up"

When I woke up, the ground was covered with snow. There was no wind blowing and it really wasn’t very cold. It looked like it would be a perfect day to do something special. 

I hadn’t been skiing for a year or so, and thought this would be a good day to do that. I dressed for the day and loaded all my sky stuff in the car and away I went. 

I arrived at the ski slope and it looked like everyone else had the same idea. I had to wait for a turn to get on the ski lift and it carried me to the top. “Man”, I have never seen so many people at the top before. So I decided to go farther up the mountain which meant, I had to do that on foot. When I had gotten to the top, the fog was so thick one couldn’t see anything. I sat down for a bit to rest, thinking maybe the fog would clear soon. 

I had never been this high before and really didn’t know what I was letting myself in for. I moved around, looking for a place to start from and I wasn’t getting very far. I was hung up in a cloud and when I moved, it was from one cloud to another. 

I could hear voices from somewhere close by and I hollered, to them, but there was no answer. But they were laughing and appeared to be having fun. I just couldn’t understand what was going on. 

I had been up here for some time and I should have been cold. But I wasn’t, I was feeling really comfortable. With all the little aches and pains I had, nothing was hurting.  I wasn’t tired or hungry.  

That was when I heard this thing, circling above my head, then it landed next to me . It was an Eagle, it was huge and all white. It sat there and it looked at me, then it let out a squawk or two. Soon after that, an old man in a white robe with a halo and long white whiskers, appeared. I ask him, what is going on here? He told me that I came up too high, I had frozen to death and never found my way to where I was supposed to go.  

Then he told me to wait here and he would go see his elders and find out what went wrong.  So I asked him, do I have to wait here, in these damp clouds, where I can’t see anything? He said: No! Go over there and go down those stairs to the next level and wait there. 

At that level, I found a number of people, looking out over the country side and one could see for a century. ( In Heaven, nothing is measured in miles, it is all done in time.) I could see things in the smallest detail, I read the head line on a news paper, it said: Abandoned auto found, driver still missing.

Later, when the old man came back, He said: I am going to have to send you back down to earth, until we can figure out what is going on. But you won’t remember any of this when you go back. 

I woke that morning and the ground was covered with snow, so I got everything together and headed for the ski slopes. Had to wait for a ride on the chair lift and arriving at the top, I had never seen so many people. up here before. 

I selected a trail that wasn’t being used much, and off I went. About a third of the way down, I became lost and ran into a tree. I stood there looking down at myself, yes I had been killed once again. They, in heaven,  sent me back down to earth, not knowing what to do with me! and they said you won’t remember any of this. 

Again I awoke and found the ground covered with snow. I packed may bags and flew to Florida. The airplane  crashed on the way and here I am, speaking with the gate keeper one more time.  Back to earth I go again. 

It was snowing and I didn’t know what I was going to do today, It would be a good day for skiing, so off to the slops I go. I stopped for lunch at the “Chew Chew cafe” and who do you think I meet in the café, None other than George M. Gooseme.  He has been mixed up in the same mass confusion, in heaven, as I am.

I left the café and was crossing the street at the corner, The snow was heavy and thick. About half way across, a elderly lady ran over me. We both died in that accident. She was detained, but I was sent on up stairs.

Saint Peter himself came to talk with me. He apologized for the trouble I was having, Then he told me he really didn’t want to send me back down to earth again. He told me of a place that was not up or down, It was a place where many were waiting, while the elders were deciding which way to send them. 

There were thousands of people there and many of the rooms were full. I went into one at the far end, There was a group of men, beating the tar out of another  old man, On the other side of the room was a women, beating the hell out of a group of men.  A kid was steeling cookies from a cookie jar. A man was pointing a gun at some people and no matter where I looked, nothing good was going on.

I turned to leave and I noticed a neon sign flashing in red, white & blue colors. It said: Free Cold Beer!

My new friend and I, decided to rest and enjoy ourselves while we were waiting. Care to have a cold one with us while we wait to find out what went wrong? 

By; Ben R,  ☺

Jan. 11, 2013