"My trousers, where are my trousers "

Where’s my pants?

 

I don’t lose them very often, but I can’t remember of taking them off or where I would have done so.  All I know is people were pointing at me and laughing, I know my legs are short and crocked, but I am not one to laugh at people with those kind of legs.  Legs were built to walk on and not for looks.

 

Well. That is not exactly true, a girl with pretty legs get a lot of looking at. What can be nicer to look at, than a body by Fisher that weights in around 110 or so!  It makes ones mouth drool, just thinking about it.

 

An overweight girl has to have a lot going for her to hold ones attention. I know of a number of guys that were either smothered to death or almost smothered to death, by going to bed with a girls that was built like a tow ton truck or a mountain called “Maria”.  Some of the guys got trapped in between them hidden valleys and crevasses, just ask Jonesie,  he was crippled when they were trying to rescue him.

 

But this wasn’t my case, I know I put them pants on when I woke this morning, as I couldn’t decide what shirt to wear, that would go with orange trousers. I got them over thirty years ago and they had never been worn.

 

They were about three sizes too small. But I sucked in my big belly and got my old butt in them anyway. There was a bow tie in the pocket, one of them already tied, quick connect ones.  The trousers had button down back pockets with black peril buttons. I also found some missing house keys that turned up missing a long-long time ago.

 

I can remember putting on some black and white socks to go with my black shoes. Hey, I just checked my socks and they are not black and white. What’s going on here, is someone funning with me?

 

Anyone having information on the missing trousers and those socks, let me hear from you.  There was a foot print of a Big Foot found in Louisiana, do you think! Nah, He would have to be able to fly to get here and back.  Can Big Foot people be Witches or Warlock people or from outer space?   I think, I saw one in the park last week. Maybe that is where all those bodies are coming from that are found in the creek, in and around Rapid City!

 

By: Ben R.

July, 2014