Winter Fun,

Winter Fun,

Winter means snow and snow means fun, that is, after you have spent two days of moving the stuff out of the way.  Now your back hurts so bad, you can hardly move. Laying in a hot bath socking, only made the other pains hurt more! Your are too damn old to go out and help the kids build a snowman, There is no more good stuff in the bottle, to warm your insides and you have already drank a full pot of coffee and you know how hard it will be to get your snowsuit off, when you have to go!  

Eggnog would be good, but you can’t remember how to make it and if the kids know you have it, they will all be right back in the house. Better forget that idea and find something to read.  Remember that book you just received in the mail, the one on Income tax filing, maybe you should start reading up on that stuff. I think there is a chapter, on how to make a bad day worse.   

You keep wondering what is worse, paying the government all that money or having all those little tax deductions. Remember, if you have to pay money, it is only the one time and the deductions are for years to come.  You don’t get to keep any of your earnings no matter which way you go. Also remember, when you first spoke of being in love and getting married ?  All of your friends told you, “ you’ll be sorry! You let all those other little things pass, but this paying taxes is serious stuff. 

How many things is there now, that you can no longer do, since you married? Painful to think about, isn’t it? It would have been a lot cheaper to have paid for the love of a women. But the woman wiggled her butt and rubbed it up against you and purred like a kitten and of course Your were weak like most men are. You said you wanted a girl just like your mother. But you never dreamed that you mother was all that bad.

Remember that talk, you never had, with your Father, you were too much in a hurry and now you will regret it. You never thought that your friends knew what they were talking about, but they all had a talk with their father’s.

Oh-oh, here they come, all eight of them and you will not be able to get into the bath room until late afternoon. Better put your coat and hat on and drive down to the service station.  Maybe you should stop by “Joe’s Place” and see what the boys are doing!  Hey, they look to be having a great time, one little beer with them, won’t hurt anything. Now you have missed lunch, dinner and the bartender wants to close up.  Did you remember to have a designated driver?

It’s cold outside and looks to have snowed another six or so inches. You can’t tell which car is yours. As you are removing snow from the cars, a patrol car pulls up along side of you. You are lucky, both officers know you and offer to drive you home. Once inside you find your wife waiting.

She is very angry and spiting fire when she talks. She tells you that her brother and his girl friend came to dinner, He acted as one of Santa’s helpers and help to get the kids all tucked in. Then she stomped off to bed while you made yourself a cup of instant coffee, was was really bad.  

Up the stairs you go, almost falling backwards a number of times, The bed room door handle wouldn’t turn, she had locked it from the inside!  On the way back downstairs, you missed that first step and found yourself on the floor at the bottom of the steps. Oh. That pain was back again. You make it to the living room sofa and put a cushion under your head. 

You wake the following morning and do not recognize where you are. You pound your head with the heal of your hand and shake it a bit.  You look out the window and think to yourself, I’ve seen this place before.  In a few more minutes you remember, this is where you lived when you were single. You must have ha a bad dream.

You spent the day watching foot ball games on TV and went to bed. Early the next morning, there was  knock on your door, you open it to find a distinguished looking gentleman standing there, he tips his hat and hands you an envelope, than tips his hat again and walks away

You have been served with a summons to appear in Court. But for what?

Was that a Dream you had, or was it? 

By; Ben R.  

Dec, 18, 2013