Have you ever stood in a line for, hours and hours, that was going nowhere?
Some people see a long line thinking it is for something special and they are always looking for a good deal. They take a space and stand for hours and the front of the line ends up going around the block and joining at the back of the line. Some people went around twice, or even three times before they realized where they weren’t going!
Have you ever had someone tell you, that they had a half a mind to do something and then couldn’t find that half that worked?
I read a sign the other day that said: Free Information, and ask what that was ? Was told that this information would cost me a dollar. I bought half a dollar’s worth! Couldn’t use the information and ask for a refund, The girl gave me back a dollar. Since I am not a honest person, what should I do?
Mother never told me any of this stuff.
Like you can hang your cloths on a tree branch, but don’t go in the water.
Or a bird in ones hand is a hand full of shit.
Trying to catch monkeys in a tree is just like squeezing a greased pig in a puddle of mud.
When you go to a large city, never stop and look up at a tall building, she never told me why?
When you are in another country, Never drive on the right side of the street.
Drunks are drunks no matter where you are, except in church! There, they are said to be Sinners.
Mother always said to wear clean underwear, in case of an accident. What do you think they will find in my underwear if I am in a accident?
It is said that Heaven’s Angles helps the Devil by tempting you with soft, shinny and lovable things, mostly girls. Does that make girls a devil’s tool ?
It is said that money is the route to all evil, I don’t think I have ever traveled on that route. I am one of the poor!
Never mount a horse from the right side, Did the horse tell you that, or was it one of our Senator’s?
Did you know that some cowboys do ride side saddle?
A horse in a bath tub is usually a clean horse! Now how are you going to get him back down the stairs?
If the moon makes a big splash, does that tell you where it fell? Your close, but what part of Montana?
Being eager is one thing but being over eager is something to hide from everyone, if it is hard and sticking out in front.
Never use a wire brush to scrub yourself when bathing!
How far North can you go before you are going South? I stopped at the Canadian border where I found Dizzy Land! Sometimes it is better to remain lost!
I learned a lesson after we had to move, It was never build a camp fire in middle of your living room floor for roasting march mellows…….Why rub two sticks together when you have matches?
Did you know, dark room lights are just as bright as they are in any other place?
Never have so many lives been saved from certain death, when a Wal-Mart sale was canceled!
When you ask one’s origin, are you asking, what they are , or where they are from, or where they are going, or why they chose this way? What will you do if they say they are lost? Show them the way out, or return them to sender? Of course if they are Aliens’, you can give them my job, I’m going to move to Mexico!
Anyone want to buy a four wheeled tricycle, how about a set of used dentures, maybe a set of books called, The Book Of Knowledge, That or my Wife, your choice for the same price. Oh! If you want to trade, I do need a cook..and someone to rub my back!
Shisssssssssss.
Some people see a long line thinking it is for something special and they are always looking for a good deal. They take a space and stand for hours and the front of the line ends up going around the block and joining at the back of the line. Some people went around twice, or even three times before they realized where they weren’t going!
Have you ever had someone tell you, that they had a half a mind to do something and then couldn’t find that half that worked?
I read a sign the other day that said: Free Information, and ask what that was ? Was told that this information would cost me a dollar. I bought half a dollar’s worth! Couldn’t use the information and ask for a refund, The girl gave me back a dollar. Since I am not a honest person, what should I do?
Mother never told me any of this stuff.
Like you can hang your cloths on a tree branch, but don’t go in the water.
Or a bird in ones hand is a hand full of shit.
Trying to catch monkeys in a tree is just like squeezing a greased pig in a puddle of mud.
When you go to a large city, never stop and look up at a tall building, she never told me why?
When you are in another country, Never drive on the right side of the street.
Drunks are drunks no matter where you are, except in church! There, they are said to be Sinners.
Mother always said to wear clean underwear, in case of an accident. What do you think they will find in my underwear if I am in a accident?
It is said that Heaven’s Angles helps the Devil by tempting you with soft, shinny and lovable things, mostly girls. Does that make girls a devil’s tool ?
It is said that money is the route to all evil, I don’t think I have ever traveled on that route. I am one of the poor!
Never mount a horse from the right side, Did the horse tell you that, or was it one of our Senator’s?
Did you know that some cowboys do ride side saddle?
A horse in a bath tub is usually a clean horse! Now how are you going to get him back down the stairs?
If the moon makes a big splash, does that tell you where it fell? Your close, but what part of Montana?
Being eager is one thing but being over eager is something to hide from everyone, if it is hard and sticking out in front.
Never use a wire brush to scrub yourself when bathing!
How far North can you go before you are going South? I stopped at the Canadian border where I found Dizzy Land! Sometimes it is better to remain lost!
I learned a lesson after we had to move, It was never build a camp fire in middle of your living room floor for roasting march mellows…….Why rub two sticks together when you have matches?
Did you know, dark room lights are just as bright as they are in any other place?
Never have so many lives been saved from certain death, when a Wal-Mart sale was canceled!
When you ask one’s origin, are you asking, what they are , or where they are from, or where they are going, or why they chose this way? What will you do if they say they are lost? Show them the way out, or return them to sender? Of course if they are Aliens’, you can give them my job, I’m going to move to Mexico!
Anyone want to buy a four wheeled tricycle, how about a set of used dentures, maybe a set of books called, The Book Of Knowledge, That or my Wife, your choice for the same price. Oh! If you want to trade, I do need a cook..and someone to rub my back!
Shisssssssssss.
Ben R. 1/27'09
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