Back in the beginning, before the Ark was built, and the big flood came and went, man was asking other men, what they wanted in a woman? Man really didn’t know as he had little information on women to base his decision on.
For myself, it was when they first started to put pictures of sexy girls on calendars. I think Miss April, was my favorite. She had that look, one that sent chills up and down ones spine. One could dream all day, of having her by your side.
Man never had any idea what a perfect girl looked like until he received his personal calendar from; Play Boy! I once kept my copy under the mattress, but it got all wrinkled. Then I hung it on the wall and someone took it down, I hung it on the wall in the bed room and again it disappeared. I even tried the bath room wall, but then I got a number of complaints that I was spending too much time in there.
After that I found a perfect place for it, in the shed. I spend a large amount of my time out in the shed. That was where everything I needed was.
After fifty some years, she is still there and Miss April looks better every year. A lot of friends come to see her and I could charge them an admission fee, but I don’t. But if they want to touch her, they have to have clean hands, and put change in the jar.
The girl I married, may not look as sexy, but she has been around for a long time. Now that I have learned that Miss April is only a picture (which broke my heart) and my wife is real. But then if a real Miss April were to come around, I would have to commit myself to a place for safe keeping, with guards.
One time, I thought I had found the perfect girl, she had everything that the guys would talk about. I had made a date with her and picked her up where she was working, at the Dog pound, as a group leader. We had several dates together, and every time we went some place to eat, they would serve her dog biscuits. I guess it was because she would snarl and bark at them. I kept an open mind until the day she lifted her leg to mark her territory. She never did bite anyone or start chasing cars. I still have her collar and leash, well I did have it! A home is a good place to lose things.
But they are found again, when you leave home, and they are cleaning your room out. It is funny how the mind of man will lead him down that path of dreams, only to find out he has been on the right path from the beginning! There are no road maps to success, and the cost can be high.
Mother or Dad, never told me any of this stuff! And those other guys just told me stuff, so they could get my candy. Candy is the reason I don’t have any teeth today. But I am pretty good at gumming food.
By; Ben R.
April 9, 2011
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