This duck went to see her doctor and she says: Doctor, my feet are all yellow! He says: Well what’s wrong with yellow? She replies I am tired of having yellow feet like all the other ducks, I want something different.
Well what color would you like, She says: I’d like to try black. So the doctor gave her a note and told her to take this down to the hardware store and then follow the directions on the label.
The next week the duck goes to the doctor again. She says: doctor, I can’t swim with black feet, everything in the water keeps nibbling on my toes.
The Doctor says: what color would you like? The duck says maybe Green. So the doctor wrote another note and told her to take this one to a green house, so away she went.
The green house keeper tells her that he can’t fill this order and she needs to take it to a care taker at the cemetery. So she says, which one and he said: to the Catholic one! She asks why the Catholic one and he responds because that is where the Irish are laid to rest, She says: But I am not a Catholic or am I Irish!
What be you then, ask the grave keeper? I am Russian! So the man says: all Russian ducks wear the same uniform, yellow boots and white coats and any Russian duck found out of uniform will be shot on sight, and the bounty on ducks out of uniform has just been raised to five hundred yams. How much is that in American money! The guy says; I think it is around thirty five cents.
The duck falls to the floor, kicking, cursing, and banging on the table with her yellow boots. Everyone in the place was disturbed, so the police were called, The first officer on the scene says: what do you think you are doing? The duck says: I demand this, and I demand that, and if you don’t comply with my demands, The cop says: Whoa ,who do you think you are? Khrushchev !
The duck still had black feet and had to find a way to get back to yellow. The man at the hardware store told her that paint remover would get rid of the black color, but there might be some allergies as some ducks were allergic to things like paint removers. So she bought a small container of remover and went home. Well she tried the remover and it did remove the black, but now her feet and legs were covered with fur. When fur gets wet it becomes three times as heavy, Being wet and heavy makes a duck sink to the bottom of a pond.
This poor duck seems to go from one problem to the next and has no idea what to do next. The duck was told that there was a famous doctor in Saint Cisco that knew how to treat these kinds of problems, his name was “Hi Low” MD. DDc.& Needle Point Specialist , he was Chinese and he had some unusual ways of treating his patients.
The duck went to Saint Cisco and made an appointment to see Dr. Hi Low. And was waiting in his office on the appointment day. In the examination room the Dr. smiled and bowed several times. He say: Set please, Ahhhh, see you have fur leg, I can help. I have helped many Russian ducks with same problem. First you wash leg with soap & hot water, three times first day, be sure it dry before you wash again. and dry between second and third wash. Second day, wash with cold water, no soap, let air dry.
Third day, wet legs, cover with honey and go to zoo. See Bear keeper and get Bears to lick off honey, Buy bucket full Bear dung, Go home,Put Bear dung on legs and Remain in dark room two days, no light for two days, very important, very important, no light for two days. Next day, run through car wash many times. When dung gone, fur gone.
Four Hundred dollar Please!
By: Ben ®
Well what color would you like, She says: I’d like to try black. So the doctor gave her a note and told her to take this down to the hardware store and then follow the directions on the label.
The next week the duck goes to the doctor again. She says: doctor, I can’t swim with black feet, everything in the water keeps nibbling on my toes.
The Doctor says: what color would you like? The duck says maybe Green. So the doctor wrote another note and told her to take this one to a green house, so away she went.
The green house keeper tells her that he can’t fill this order and she needs to take it to a care taker at the cemetery. So she says, which one and he said: to the Catholic one! She asks why the Catholic one and he responds because that is where the Irish are laid to rest, She says: But I am not a Catholic or am I Irish!
What be you then, ask the grave keeper? I am Russian! So the man says: all Russian ducks wear the same uniform, yellow boots and white coats and any Russian duck found out of uniform will be shot on sight, and the bounty on ducks out of uniform has just been raised to five hundred yams. How much is that in American money! The guy says; I think it is around thirty five cents.
The duck falls to the floor, kicking, cursing, and banging on the table with her yellow boots. Everyone in the place was disturbed, so the police were called, The first officer on the scene says: what do you think you are doing? The duck says: I demand this, and I demand that, and if you don’t comply with my demands, The cop says: Whoa ,who do you think you are? Khrushchev !
The duck still had black feet and had to find a way to get back to yellow. The man at the hardware store told her that paint remover would get rid of the black color, but there might be some allergies as some ducks were allergic to things like paint removers. So she bought a small container of remover and went home. Well she tried the remover and it did remove the black, but now her feet and legs were covered with fur. When fur gets wet it becomes three times as heavy, Being wet and heavy makes a duck sink to the bottom of a pond.
This poor duck seems to go from one problem to the next and has no idea what to do next. The duck was told that there was a famous doctor in Saint Cisco that knew how to treat these kinds of problems, his name was “Hi Low” MD. DDc.& Needle Point Specialist , he was Chinese and he had some unusual ways of treating his patients.
The duck went to Saint Cisco and made an appointment to see Dr. Hi Low. And was waiting in his office on the appointment day. In the examination room the Dr. smiled and bowed several times. He say: Set please, Ahhhh, see you have fur leg, I can help. I have helped many Russian ducks with same problem. First you wash leg with soap & hot water, three times first day, be sure it dry before you wash again. and dry between second and third wash. Second day, wash with cold water, no soap, let air dry.
Third day, wet legs, cover with honey and go to zoo. See Bear keeper and get Bears to lick off honey, Buy bucket full Bear dung, Go home,Put Bear dung on legs and Remain in dark room two days, no light for two days, very important, very important, no light for two days. Next day, run through car wash many times. When dung gone, fur gone.
Four Hundred dollar Please!
By: Ben ®
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