"A girl, cold as Ice"

Have you ever had a date with a girl that was cold as ice? Her name was Wanda Winchill and freezing was her game. I arrived at her home at Sun down as she never left her house until after dark. She always wore dark glasses and gloves with liners. It was hard to understand what she was saying, as her words would freeze and break as soon as they came out of her mouth. 

Wanda was the only child in the family, her father was an alcoholic stiff and Aunty’ Freeze was her aunt, who took care of Wanda and her father. Wanda’s Mother froze to death, while in bed, one night. Wanda never had a pet as they kept freezing to death.

Aunt Freeze wore a double wattage electric blanked with a long extension cord, no matter what she was doing, and getting a bath was out of the question. Water and electricity just don’t go very well together. When Wanda was young, her father had an ice house business and delivered ice to the people of the town. This was back in the late 1800’s and up to around 1920. He became rich keeping others cool.

When Wanda’s father had graduated from college, he and some friends went for an adventure in Africa. His friends all got sick from something, ( it was thought to be a curse) and they all died. But a tribe of Head Hunters were able to save the father's life. From that day on, what ever he got close to something, it would freeze.  If he was to place his hand in a pan of water, it would freeze solid. So his supply of ice was never ending.

Wanda let an old boy friend touch her chest area, when she was young, and his hand was frozen, now he only has a stump to feel with. If there is anything in the house, with a temperature, that wasn’t already below zero, it will freeze solid when one of them touch it.   Aunt Freeze, has to use thermal gloves while cleaning.

Research has been going on for the last forty years, and nothing positive has been found, It is thought that those, African natives had made a potion or a paste from a number of plants, but the right combination hasn’t been found as yet, They have to know how to make this stuff, before they can find a cure for it.

Your help would be appreciated, send all the whiskey you can get  your hands on to, Morris Tucker, Care of Gen. Delivery, Moon Shine Valley. Blue grass region, Kentucky. (Revenewiers  found the still !) Help !

Oct. 28, 2012

By; Ben R. ☺